I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize