Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
