Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
