Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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