why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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