No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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