I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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