Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She said her name was "party"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
