i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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