last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize