Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
