Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
