1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize