it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
