and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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