Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
