Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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