i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
