Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
