ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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