EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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