hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
