maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
