You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
