But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize