I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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