Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
