if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
