So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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