He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
