Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
