We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
