She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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