I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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