If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
