Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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