as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
