You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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