You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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