bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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