Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize