Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
