My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
