capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize