My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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