dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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