Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?