Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

(323): View more from California

Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

(831): View more from California

Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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(831): Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777 (323): Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;) (831): Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up. http://tfl.nu/bykg

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(916): View more from California

He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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(916): He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car. http://tfl.nu/y9if

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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(860): Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture. http://tfl.nu/0rjo

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(516): View more from New York

I understand why you refuse to be sober now

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(516): I understand why you refuse to be sober now http://tfl.nu/j30b

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(862): View more from New Jersey

this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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(862): this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming http://tfl.nu/d5m0

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(801): View more from Utah

I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?

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(801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes? http://tfl.nu/05g8

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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(814): Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry. http://tfl.nu/q7zn

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(573): View more from Missouri

I want her autograph on my taint

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(573): I want her autograph on my taint http://tfl.nu/g43m

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Ugh he's texting me.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.

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(204): Ugh he's texting me. (1-204): Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/6r54

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(305): View more from Florida

You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.

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(305): You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos. http://tfl.nu/9yd3

Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (1178)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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(570): I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair http://tfl.nu/vjbt

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(206): View more from Washington

I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.

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(206): I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine. http://tfl.nu/p8ml

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(518): View more from New York

Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

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(518): Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird. http://tfl.nu/4vio

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(+27): View more from South Africa

Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast

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(+27): Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast http://tfl.nu/wh5g

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(513): View more from Ohio

Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.

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(513): Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs. http://tfl.nu/km54

Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt

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