gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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