So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize