my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
