There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize