help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
