called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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