I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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