you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
