remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im holly from the hills drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
