Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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