New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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