just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
