i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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