My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
